On Thursday, Mallory came to visit and we had a Disney movie marathon. A few weeks ago we made a list of the Disney essentials that we HAD to watch. We came up with a list of eight movies that we both agreed upon, and then we ranked them in order from favorite to least favorite. Then we compared.. and our lists were almost exactly the same. It could not have been more perfect.
These were our final choices:
Mallory summarized our journey much more eloquently than I ever could here.. but I will summarize the things that we became aware of below.
1. Beauty and the Beast is still one of our favorite movies. It lived up to our memories. This is my favorite part:
2. Prince Eric might be the most attractive male in Disney movies, Aladdin being a close second.
3. Come on, they’re not all that impressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On a lady who’s withdrawn
It’s she who holds her tongue who gets her man
The above verse from Poor Unfortunate Souls explains why I don’t have a boyfriend.
4. Speaking of Poor Unfortunate Souls, I realized that my favorite Disney songs are those sung by the villains.
5. It’s okay to leave your home, your family, your friends, and the only life you’ve ever known for true love. After three days. When you’ve never once spoken to the object of your affections.
6. Scar is a gigantic asshole. I knew this already, but really? At least Shere Khan was succombing to a biological need, by trying to eat everything made of meat in sight. Scar was merely jealous of his brother.
7. The Jungle Book is a huge letdown.
8. Mulan is one badass chick. I want to be Mulan when I grow up.
9. Really, Wendy? Your main goal in life is to become a mother? Why don’t you become a writer? You could write down the story of Peter Pan instead. But you’re probably still too upset after being forced to have your own bedroom. What teenaged girl doesn’t want a room of their own, away from their little brothers? I do not identify with you here.. you’re strange.
10. At least Jasmine had a real goal, I guess. She became a substitute teacher? (according to the Disney Wiki) which is obviously a fantastic profession to have!
After our 12 hours of Disney movie watching, Mallory had to leave . But never fear! I continued that night with one last movie.. a favorite from my childhood: Bambi.
In summation, Bambi has no plot. His mom gets shot, he becomes twitter-pated, and then grows up. And then.. the circle of life, blah blah blah, it was like The Lion King but with no actual action. Or a murderous uncle. Or a real villian at all (no, hunters do not count!) If you want to watch a circle of life movie, please choose The Lion King. And sing along to Be Prepared for me please.
The next day, I was itching to watch another Disney movie: The Great Mouse Detective. One of my past favorites, though most people would not agree. After watching, I saw what I liked about it then, and I still enjoyed it.. but it was SO inappropriate. At one point they were in a bar and the woman on stage was dancing and singing a song that said something about “taking off my clothes for you.” I read the comments from parents on the Netflix page and laughed, because while many agreed with my favorable sentiment, many parents were complaining that it was too inappropriate for their children. To that, I respond: I watched this movie over and over and over again and didn’t even remember this happening, and I didn’t become an exotic dancer/stripper mouse. So guys, nothing to worry about!
My Disney movie watching was not finished though. I watched one more Saturday night: The Fox and the Hound. What a downer. I cried after the first 5 minutes when Tod’s mother was shot. See Disney? You can have a movie about how hunting is bad and still have an actual plot to it. Just saying. I had forgotten about Boomer and Dinky, and I enjoyed them very much. I had forgotten much of this movie, but all the emotions that I felt back then were felt tenfold now.